


Upward Spiral

by Izzybizzy333



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd Needs a Hug, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, a little bit, baby dimileth, but also sad, but sometimes you're in the down part, dimileth, mental health, recovery is an upward spiral, they all try to cheer him up, what then
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-21 12:50:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20693825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izzybizzy333/pseuds/Izzybizzy333
Summary: Dimitri is improving but there are always bad days. His friends, his knights, and his wife do all they can to help.A short vignette about recovery.





	Upward Spiral

There are still days where he does not feel worthy of life. Where the voices seem to speak to him beyond his ability to listen or to move on, and where he is reminded endlessly of his own mistakes, his sin, his worthlessness. On those days, Fhirdiad as a whole seems quieter and its inhabitants are more subdued. 

Sometimes he can still move, even get out of bed and continue the responsibilities he _ knows _are important to carry on with, even if it does not feel like it today. Each of his knights have their own way of dealing with it, and each have the ability in their own way to pull him out of it sometimes.

Felix will train with him until they are both so tired there is no more space for sorrow, dead family members, or old regrets. Mercedes tries her favorite cure-all: sweets. Baked with love and her own special healing spells, they can sometimes make even his tastebuds sit up and take notice, though it’s mostly the kindness and concern with which she presents them to him more than anything else. 

Annette cheerily helps polish off the sweets and before he knows what’s happening, he’s helping her clean a bookcase or work through a difficult spell. She keeps him so busy on the million things she does in a day that before he knows it, often his troubles are ten feet behind them. Ashe is much more subdued, sharing with him about a book he read or a recipe he’s tried lately, given to quiet conversations and unerringly positive philosophical discussions. Dimitri always comes away from their time reminded that there is at least some good in this world, even just in Ashe, and it must be protected. 

Even married, Ingrid and Sylvain are an incorrigible pair and while Ingrid may try and coax him into a Pegasus ride or Sylvain try to dispel his melancholy with shocking remarks, it’s seeing the two of them together, in between their playful bickering and unnecessary public displays of affection, that reminds Dimitri of the capability of each person to love so well. 

On the days he thinks he’s hiding it best, Dedue will coax his King to the greenhouse so well cared for by himself and the Archbishop, to work on pulling the weeds, tending the plants and their own souls in unspoken understanding, making small changes for the better even in the quiet lives of these plants. On certain days, Dimitri will even find himself being able to forgive the weeds of sin in his own mind when he sees how quickly they grow even in the best kept gardens.

His friends loving concern are enough many days, but not all. When the voices are very bad,and Dimitri cannot get out of his own mind, let alone the bed, Byleth will gently bring their greatest gift to him. Padding into the nursery, she’ll gently lift their child, hold him close for a moment even just to hear his small, perfect heartbeat, then lay him right close to his father.

Even then, there are days that Dimitri rolls away from this grace. 

“I’ll hurt him” he’ll whisper in a low voice. 

“I’ll get the blood on my hands on him!” like a cry of pain.

“Someday I’ll be taken from him too…” he groans from the deepest pits of his fear. 

_ I’d like to see someone try and take you while I’m here _, she thinks in a flash of anger but knows better than to say.

The worst days are when he doesn't say anything at all, reminiscent of a broken man in front of a pile of rubble. 

But the baby stays. Eventually, Dimitri will place his hand on his son’s belly or back, the scarred hand even bigger than the child’s whole torso, and Dimitri will gently smile as the boy sleeps unaware. 

It does not fix it, and some days he still doesn’t get out of bed, but it does make the voices that much easier to bear.


End file.
